I Didn't Fall Over! A Graduate's Tale

This week I graduated from The University of Sheffield with a 2:1 in English Literature and, as were many people I suppose, I was very scared I was going to fall over on stage or at least forget where I was going. However neither of these happened and in all honesty, no one fell over at all during the ceremony! So, in this blog post, I thought I would sum up a bit of my university experience and someone somewhere might find it useful!

Hannah and I have managed to get a collection started!

University is hard. There are so many changes within the three years and suddenly, after eighteen years of support at home and at school, we’re left to our own devices. This takes a while to get used to and to really feel at home at university – this is totally normal. People take things at different paces and personally, Freshers’ Week in my first year was incredibly hard for me to deal with. As an introvert, I found the week draining and, although I tried to make an effort talking to people and throwing myself into the life expected of me as a student, it did take a huge toll on me. I remember halfway through the week calling my mum in tears because I was just so overwhelmed. Thankfully I had really great flatmates who, at the end (or near the end) of our degrees, I’m still in contact with and they really helped me to settle in and we will always know six o’clock to be tea time! So don’t be worried if you don’t magically settle in as soon as you move in – you will fall into a good group of people eventually. If you are worried, don’t be afraid to find help. There are those support services in place at university so use them! And they’re free so even more reason to use them if you need to. The support is there to be used so never pass up the opportunity if the occasion calls for it. And never forget the support that your family and friends will be able to give you as well – university is scary for everyone, people will be able to understand your worries.

When people think of students, what comes to mind is drinking and nights out, and I’m not going to lie, there is the expectation that that will happen. However, never feel pressured into fulfilling that stereotype. It may sound cliché but you do you. I didn’t go out out in my first Freshers’ Week and I managed to make some great friends by doing other things – we watched movies and went out to lunch and went shopping. And also, no one cares if you don’t want to drink and if they do, they are not worth being around. I’ve had plenty of sober nights out and I’ve been able to enjoy myself so if you’re with the right group of people then how sober you are doesn’t matter – you have a good time whatever. Then again, if you do want to drink then know your limits – no one wants to be saddled with that really drunk friend who does stupid things. I have been that friend a couple of times and I have not lived it down (sorry guys – you know what I’m talking about!). But, in the midst of partying, remember you’ve also come to university to work. And your degree is something that you want to do – remember that. Let no one put you down about it. If it interests you and helps you in what you want to do in later life then that’s all that matters. This may sound contradictory but also remember that you have to relax at some point as well. Yes, university is about the work but you’ve got to blow off steam when exams and assessments are getting you down. Find a society that interests you and gets you out of the house. In my three years of being at university, my biggest regret is probably that I didn’t join in more with societies. I always said I would but just never pushed myself that far. So go do something. Carry on with something that you did before university or start something completely new! Employers like to see well-rounded CVs so, even though the final grade helps, remember that that’s not everything. The experiences and the opportunities offered to you during your degree are just as important as they give you the chance to learn new skills which might be more applicable to the career path you want to take. And remember to have fun! As the chancellor of my university told us at our graduation – university is not the best years of your life. You have your whole life ahead of you. You take the path you want to take. I have no big life plan honestly – I know I want to be a writer at some point, but other than that I don’t really know what I’m doing! I’m twenty-one and I burst into tears on the phone just the other day trying to sort out bills for my flat. Yes, university sets you up with some skills for life but there are some that can’t be taught – you just have to live them. Other career paths and choices do that as well so if you know that university isn’t for you then you will learn all you need to know to look like you know how to adult and perhaps even quicker than those at university. And as a very wise friend told me last month – no one has their dream job in their twenties, so don’t panic of things don’t suddenly fall at your feet. It takes a while just to set up how you want to live your life and you may find that your dream job changes or adapts depending on where life takes you. Nothing is set in stone so, although it’s easier said than done, do not worry about what the future might hold. You have the power to control your life.

This is my favourite picture of the day because its not posed!

Now, on a more personal note, anyone who knows me knows that I am extremely reserved when it comes to emotions, so if you’ve been my friend whilst at university, you may not know just how much you mean to me. Whilst I’ve been at university, I’ve realised that I’m not cute, I’m practical and personally, I find it quite embarrassing to say things like I love you even to people I’ve known for my entire life so, although I know it is extremely cowardly to do it online and in writing where you may never see it, just know that I do care about you guys and I have really appreciated the support and the wonderful memories that I have of us all. And I am extremely proud of us for getting this far – we graduated and I couldn’t have done it without you all helping me through the ups and the downs! So thank you, it’s been a pleasure.

Personally, I think university has been the best experience and the worst experience of my life so far. I have never felt more exhausted and drained but then I have also never felt more confident, more self-assured and happy with where and who I am at this point in my life – even if I still can’t talk to people over the phone! It sounds so ridiculously cheesy but it’s the truth. 

Just Another Day At The Office

These past few weeks, I have been despairing and getting increasingly frustrated at numerous job applications and I have felt like I have been getting nowhere. If you have read my last few blog posts, you’ll know that I received an offer to do a Masters in Creative Writing. Ever since I got the offer, I have been unsure whether I wanted to take it – there were many things to consider like did I want to take out another loan to pay for the course or was I better off trying to get a job? I applied for many scholarships but I didn’t think anything would come from it. However, yesterday I got an email back from the university’s financial services offering me a scholarship that will cover my tuition fees and part of my living costs for the next year. So basically this gives me a chance to do my MA without worrying too much about how I’m going to pay for everything! I can’t put into words how happy I am about this unexpected surprise. I genuinely did not expect to receive this scholarship and am incredibly humbled that I have. And I can’t wait now to get back to Sheffield and start my Creative Writing course!

So in-between all of this frustration and eventually excitement, I went to the theatre twice and saw two plays based in and around offices. The first one last week was The Government Inspector by Gogol. This was a good old Russian farce; a corrupt town anticipates the arrival of a government inspector and mistakenly think a broke middle class writer is the said inspector. This performance is part of Ramps On The Moon, a project which brings together seven major theatre companies and incorporates sign language, audio description and subtitles into their performances. Disabled artists and audiences are given centre stage and stimulates positive change and awareness within arts and culture. The inclusion of sign language and subtitles within the performance really added to the hilarity of the farcical nature of the play. Mistaken identity and miscommunication is at the heart of this play and the addition of sign language, which the majority of the audience was not able to understand, added an extra layer which was not prevalent in the original text. 

The set was like a matchstick town, representing how easy it was to bowl over its inhabitants. Kiruna Stamell was perfect as the Mayor's wife, Anna. She brought the vain, superficial character to life through affecting a French accent for certain words to make herself seem more than just a provincial mayor's wife. David Carlyle as the Mayor himself got gradually more unstable as the play went on. He was beset by a crisis of faith and uncertainty as he tried to maintain the way of life the town had built for itself based on corruption and bribery as well as his own conscience. Gogol's satirical comedy has stood the test of time and is still relevant and humourous today and through the Ramps On The Moon project, theatre has become even more relevant and accessible to an increasingly diverse audience. That is something that I hope can continue. 

The next play I saw one week later (and a week that had changed my life) was Mike Bartlett's new play, Contractions. It took the style of 3-5 minute interviews between Emma, a sales rep, and her unnamed manager. By forming a romantic relationship with a co-worker, Emma is informed that the relationship is in breach of the company's contract. This interview style of the play made it feel very fast paced as there was a lot to fit into a short space of an hour and the stark revolving stage echoed the revolving nature of the production. The audience voiced their own frustration and disbelief at key moments of the play, which is proof that it certainly held our attention. Sara Stewart was chillingly terrifying as the manager who was impassively corporate and extremely hard to read. Rose Leslie took the audience on an emotional journey as a woman stuck in a job that she couldn't leave and it had ruined her life. It was hard not to feel her desperation and frustration as she tried to hold onto some semblance of her life. After seeing this play, I'm kind of glad I didn't get any of the jobs I applied for; if Contractions is a real representation of an office environment, then I don't think I'm suited to that! Contractions is a darkly funny play and I would highly recommend going to see it, especially since Live for 5 tickets are available on all performances!

Anyway, I am taking a well-deserved break from applications and enjoying my week away on holiday. I haven't got many theatre trips lined up over the summer but watch this space for updates about whether I fall over at graduation and a much anticipated performance of No Man's Land with Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart in August.

Flowers for Mrs Harris

Musical

Flowers for Mrs Harris *****

By Rachel Wagstaff and Richard Taylor

Crucible Theatre, Sheffield

Director: Daniel Evans

Cast includes: Claire Burt, Anna-Jane Casey, Mark Meadows

Dates: 19^th May to 4^th June

Times: 7:30. Matinees, 2:30 Wednesdays and Saturdays

Running Time: 2hrs 40mins including interval

Review by Nicola Wallace

26^th May 2016

When you first hear about this new musical, it sounds cute but not exactly the most riveting of topics. Based on the novel Mrs Harris Goes To Paris by Paul Gallico, Flowers for Mrs Harris is about a woman who sees a Dior dress and decides that she must have one. That is essentially a very barebones synopsis. But, oh my goodness, it is so much more than that! It’s funny, moving and gives you hope – all dreams are achievable. Mrs Harris is a cleaning woman in post-war, austerity era London who, after seeing a Dior dress in one of her clients’ homes, embarks on a quest to own one herself. She saves up enough money, after a few mishaps, to fly to Paris and purchase one. By the sheer force and wit of her personality, she makes a difference not only within her own life, but the various lives of others. After years of feeling alone after she is left widowed after the Second World War, she realises that she is not quite so lonely after all. It is a sentimental fairytale of never giving up hope and not letting life’s obstacles stand in your way. Through hard work and a good heart, Mrs Harris achieves her dream. Seriously, there was not a dry eye in the house by the end! I even shed a few tears myself!

It is an outstanding production. Writer Rachel Wagstaff and composer/lyricist Richard Taylor bring together Mrs Harris’ quest with humour and heart in a whirlwind of emotions. Seriously, there are a lot of feels in this production! Make sure you take your tissues. The music is stirring and fits with the overall production beautifully.  There are never songs just for the sake of them; they always bring something to the action on stage and move along the production succinctly. The actors themselves are all brilliant and embody their roles so so well! The casting is perfect and this production seemed to have been made for them – much like a Dior dress! I bet the costume department had a whale of a time with all those dresses! I was very jealous of the actors who got to wear some very gorgeous Dior dresses – would have liked to have worn a few myself! The revolving stage allows for quick and slick set changes which never overpower the action on stage. It looks stunning as well. By the end, the stage is literally alive with colour as Mrs Harris learns of the good she has done. As Daniel Evan’s final production as artistic director of the Crucible, he certainly goes out with a standing ovation. 

Unfortunately, my flowers have died!
And I don't think a penny would bring
them back!

If you want to see a fairytale, plenty of gorgeous dresses or just to have a good cry, then seriously, go see this play! It’s on until the 4^th of June at the Crucible – more details can be found here.

Also I have recently got Twitter, so if you want to give me a follow for more random theatre trips, Live for 5 news or just me ruminating about life, then here you go: @nicola_wallace5. 

The James Plays: The Prisoner, The Innocent and The Glam Rock Star

Its been a while but, in between all the work and the dissertation which is now finally finished, I went to the theatre to see three plays in a day. The James Plays.

This trilogy of plays has been billed as “Scotland’s answer to Game of Thrones” and it is certainly as binge-watchable! Though we only had to wait a few hours for the next instalment, not years. The plays start off with a young James I who, after been kept prisoner in England for 18 years, has to unite the families of Scotland and prove himself as king. The drama and familial relationships develop over 3 generations of the Stewart family who seek war with other countries, with other families and finally with their own family. It was really easy to be absorbed into their world; the contemporary language removes the barrier so often felt with Shakespeare’s history plays and brings to life stories that have been left out of the literary canon. The writing was witty, funny and developed the relationships between the characters – both romantic and platonic alike – fully.

The James Plays

The plays gradually become more stylised in their medieval settings with sets and costumes. By the final play, the medieval world was only invoked by the dipped hems of the back of the ladies’ dresses and the men’s jackets. Though contemporary elements were peppered throughout all the plays – modern shoes in the first play and jeans in the second – creating the sense that these medieval kings and queens were perhaps not so different than the audience. We were lucky enough to be able to watch the first play seated on the stage which was just a brilliant experience! It made the whole play much more intimate, as it would, and made the audience feel like they were part of the action with the actors walking past you every so often. There were muttered expletives and secret glances which could only be seen and heard from the stage seating, and now I can say I had a front row seat to a monarch’s coronation! That totally counts, right?

Ready for the first play!

The first James play is all about political intrigue. The Scottish King James is released from an English prison after 18 years and he must prove himself to the powerful families of Scotland who are not happy that he has returned and reclaimed the throne. There is a battle sequence whilst James’ wife, Joan, gives birth in the midst of it all and a giant sword that drips (or rather, sprays) blood. This first play was action packed, bloody and full of betrayals.

A very sunny Lyceum for part two!

It’s a testament of a good actor who can go from making me dislike him to finding him adorable in a matter of hours, so congratulations Andrew Rothney! The play follows James II (as it would) from his childhood and shows how he grew to become king. It mainly concerns itself with James’ and his childhood friend’s, William Douglas, relationship, rather than politics on a grander scale. The giant sword was now a flame thrower which echoed the destruction of James’ own childhood – his father being assassinated, becoming king at the age of 6 and being a pawn in the other families’ games – which continued to haunt him into his adulthood. This was very well done through the repetition of nightmares that brought the audience through his early days as king to his taking back of power succinctly. Also, he spends much of the first act in a box, if you like that kind of thing.

The end of the final play

What is there to say about the final James play? Wow. The three words I would use to describe it would be flamboyant, camp and tight trousers. He was easily the most dislikeable of all the James’ but definitely the funniest. There was a change in tone in this final play as it became softer and more about how his wife, Margaret, was a better ruler than he was. James III was like a glam rock superstar who was afraid of ever growing old. And I now want a choir to follow me round all day to announce my presence!

So, if you want to see a guy swinging an axe in close proximity to you, a football game on stage, bagpipe and accordion renditions of Lady Gaga, Pharrell Williams and The Human League, or just men in kilts, then these are the plays for you!

Don't forget! You can still sign up for Live for 5 tickets on line - just click here to start! And if you want to see The James Plays, here's the website to find out where they are touring. 

Yet Another Week at the Theatre

Sorry for the late post; work and the flu has pushed me back a bit! It has been another busy week in my theatre life as I have managed to fit in 3 shows into the week and have had the life changing experience of queuing up for tickets when the new season has gone on sale.

The Crucible all lit up!

Last last Thursday I managed to get a public dress rehearsal ticket to see The Nap, which I was incredibly happy about because I had missed out on the Live for 5 tickets for the previews. The Nap is a comedy-thriller about snooker written for and about The Crucible. Sounds like a weird concept, I know, but I thought it was hilarious! The plot revolves around the up and coming snooker player, Dylan Spokes (played by Jack O’Connell), who is blackmailed by a local gangster, Waxy Chuff (played by Louise Gold), to throw a frame. It also starred Mark Addy (Atlantis and Game of Thrones) and Ralf Little (The Royle Family), which, you know, I was very excited about. Richard Bean, the writer, also wrote One Man, Two Guvnors and that farcical humour also carried over into The Nap. I mean it was completely crazy but fabulously so! And hey, I got to see a snooker game at the Crucible (that totally counts, right?) so not a bad evening all in all!

New look tickets for a new play!

My next trip to the theatre was to see the Northern Ballet’s Swan Lake. This was the first ballet I’d seen live (I’d seen the Northern Ballet’s version of 1984 on BBC Four a few weeks prior) and I really enjoyed it. It was pretty mesmerising to see the dancers’ strength to be able to lift, contort and hold themselves in positions that seemed pretty uncomfortable to be in, and make it all look so easy! Not going to lie, I was a little bit jealous – I’m not a dancer and have no natural grace! I knew the music of Swan Lake and, thanks to Black Swan, I thought I knew the story, but Northern Ballet’s adaptation was updated and brought the story out of its mythological context and into a more human realm. They’d set it in an Edwardian New England and this setting worked really well with the Wilde-ian nature of the homoerotic subplot. It certainly felt more human with the exploration of themes like unfulfilled desire and loss and grief. And of course, the music was superb! I do enjoy a bit of Tchaikovsky! I really enjoyed it all and I will definitely be going to the ballet again (providing I can get £5 tickets of course!).

As an ambassador for the Crucible, I worked the NT Connections festival which was all about new writing for young actors. This was a really good opportunity to highlight the Live for 5 scheme and talk to young people who may not necessarily have known about it (although it was slightly terrifying having to talk to lots of people!). The NT Connections festival happens all round the country so if you’re interesting in writing, performing or just watching, take a look at the website here.

Queuing for new season tickets was stressful. That’s it. We got there nice and early – 45 minutes before the box office at 10 to be precise! – and still managed to end up queuing for an hour and a half! It had recently been announced that Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart were going to be performing No Man’s Land at the Lyceum in Sheffield. That’s what everyone was queuing for, including us! However, we wanted the Live for 5 tickets and this put extra pressure on us. We scouted out the queue and quickly realised that we were the youngest there but there was still quite a lot of people before us in the queue. A couple of days before, Live for 5 tickets became available online and, as the clock struck 10, we realised that this might be our only option to get these tickets. Thank goodness for that! If we had waited it out, those tickets would have been sold out! After logging in and waiting in an online queue for 10 minutes, the tickets we wanted were ours! I think the woman at box office was slightly surprised when we asked for the James Plays tickets rather than No Man’s Land, though we then did ask to pick up those tickets. So a stressful morning but well worth it in the end!

Just some of the next lot of tickets!

So yeah, you can now sign up and buy Live for 5 tickets online so literally no one (as long as you’re aged 16-26!) has an excuse! Click here to set up an account and make sure you include your date of birth so that every time you log in, Live for 5 tickets will automatically be available for you.

Happiness is a blanket scarf

Hello one and all! I’m not sure if my title will turn into a weird metaphor by the end of this post but for the moment I mean it very literally. If you know me, you will probably know that I basically show no emotions and that it’s actually very hard for me to show that I’m happy. But how can I be sad when I have a scarf that is a blanket? That’s basically the pinnacle of life right there. Anyway, I digress. The point of this post is to give you a bit of background.

So much happiness!

So I’m a painfully shy introvert who tends to remain quiet in any social situation – this much pretty much everyone knows about me and I am always faced with such questions like “Why are you so quiet?” or “Are you okay? You look upset/angry.” The only answers I can give to these are “That’s just my personality” or “That’s just my face – I generally look like I have no desire to be near people even when I’m actually enjoying myself”. It’s just the way it is and unfortunately, when it is brought up, it does make me very self-conscious and ultimately I clam up even more. What you may not know is the fact that I have struggled with depression and social anxiety since I was about 11. I’m still not great at expressing this to even my closest friends, even though I have got so much better in the last few years, so it would appear that the only way I can actually talk about this is through this blog post, mainly just to avoid the embarrassment of actually talking about myself to other people. I hope that, by writing this, people don’t feel like they have to tiptoe round me, I would just like to make everyone aware of something that I internalise quite a lot. I appreciate a lot of people will feel very different to how I feel so this is just my experience and I don’t want to come across selfish or anything.

I was bullied a lot throughout primary and high school and even a bit in college. I mean, this isn't the entire reason for my depression, I reckon some of it is just my personality and the way I'm wired anyway, but it certainly contributed. I don’t think I really realised I had depression until I was about 16/17 and had put my entire experience down to just being a teenager which probably stopped me from getting any help sooner or at least expressing how I felt. I always felt like (and still do sometimes) I didn't belong anywhere. My depression, coupled with social anxiety, has sometimes left me feeling isolated, unappreciated and in constant need of someone to tell me that I am enough and that my friends do actually like me and don't think I'm a burden. I just never seemed to quite fit in, and so I turned to literature – books, film, TV and music – as a way to escape. I still do this to an extent, it is one of the ways that I find happiness. I mean this love of literature has basically shaped my entire life – I'm doing an English Literature degree and I have an offer for a Creative Writing MA – and yes, sometimes it is hurtful when people belittle me for choosing to do an Arts and Humanities degree but I know that this was always going to be the path that I took. Literature has really helped me through some pretty dark times of my life and, as I would like to be a writer, if I could help and offer just one person a way of escaping then it’s all worth it, isn't it? In a way, I don’t know who I would be without my depression, it has come to shape me as a person but I have got better in the last few years and, although the scars will probably always be there, I'm slowly becoming the person I actually want to be.

Anyway, sorry for the slightly longer post and it’ll be business as usual next time as I have a few theatre visits lined up, and, as I said before, I hope this post doesn't change anyone’s opinion of me or make it seem like I'm selfish or anything.

The NHS website has some pretty useful information about depression and there’s a self-check tool there too, as well as links to various charities that offer help.   

The Trip to Ireland

Way, way back in November, my flatmate Megan asked me if I wanted to go to Northern Ireland to spend the weekend with her and her family at her home for her birthday. Any normal person would have thought great, a holiday after January exams, but for me, it was a Big Deal. I had never set foot in an airport, never been on an aeroplane and never been abroad (although that one is still true). You know that icebreaker that tutors always like to play – tell us your name and an interesting fact about yourself – well those were always my go-to! But finally, after much cajoling from Megan and my parents, I decided that well, it couldn't hurt to go to Ireland on a plane and at least I would be with someone who knew what they were doing. So the day of the flight came round, I had had a really bad night’s sleep and was sick with nerves, but I managed to get to the airport in one piece and I hadn't burst into tears, which was always a bonus! I managed to rally after a very sugary drink from a café and was feeling a bit more up for it by the time our plane was due. But then disaster struck! Our plane had been delayed by an hour and a half due to bad weather which just meant that I had more time to worry! But after much support from Megan, I was slightly calmer by the time we could board the plane.

Made it onto the plane in one (not weeping) piece!

This being my first ever flight, I’m going to bore you with the details of my actual experience of flying – not that there are too many, it was a pretty straightforward flight and nothing went wrong! My head swam a bit because of the air pressure and I never really got the hang of how the seatbelts worked (I will admit, Megan did have to help me out once we got to Ireland!) but other than that, flying was a pretty fun experience! It was cloudy and we were just flying over sea so there wasn't that much to see but it was still fun seeing all the boats and the earth from above! Obviously it was a perspective I had never seen the earth from! Other than that, I suppose flying is pretty much the same as travelling on a train really, just a tad faster! The flight back, however, was less of a fun experience. Once again, our flight was delayed and the weather could have been better. There was some turbulence which wasn't the greatest and not going to lie, I’ll felt a bit sick. At least, since it was night-time, the lights of the towns were pretty and I managed to get some reading done so it wasn't a complete write-off! And we got back in one piece!

Genuinely terrified about being blown into the sea!

The wild Irish sea at the Giant's Causeway

Walking the Walls at Derry

The Dark Hedge

I had a fantastic time in Ireland and being by the sea when the weather was so wild was a new experience for me. I'm from a landlocked county and have only been by the sea in the summer so it was great to see it so completely crazy! And it was great just seeing new places and having a Game of Thrones tour of Ireland from my wonderful friend and her family! Definitely worth getting on a plane for!